Fourth Annual L;ve Love Run

Our group seems to get smaller && smaller every year sister. It's kind of heartbreaking. Whether it be because we cut off toxicity, or because the people that came before are now gone ((that person being padre)), our family is dwindling. 

Regardless, this was a good run sister. We didn't run with the sombrero this year, or a picture, but we wore your shirt again. We do it every year.

But this year was a little different, this year I decided it's my day off so why not do something a little more permanent? 

So let's start this blog off with; 

It started with an idea. 

That idea, turned into an appointment, and that appointment, turned into a booked appointment. It's almost been four years sister, four long years that you've been gone. It seemed the appropriate time to get your memorial. So I did it, my own style, with my own ideas of pictures, && combined it into one. 

The ribcage because you're gone via your own hand, the butterfly because I see them anytime you're on my mind, the rose because blue roses were your favorite, && the sunflower because that was your flower. 5:35, because that's the time I woke up that morning ((well call it your first attempts)), && the watercolor for the suicide awareness/prevention colors. 

Four years is a long time to not hear your voice, hear your laugh, hear you cry, scream... It's a lot sister. 

Today's one of those days where I'm wondering why you thought the world would be better without you, because since you've been gone, mines been a hell of a lot darker. You're the motivation though, you and Padre both. The motivation that pushes me to keep going. Because I'm doing this for you. This tattoo took seven long hours sister, but let me tell you at the end of it, it was worth it. 

I have such a love for it, like, if anyone asks I get to tell your story, spread your name, share your light. I miss you today sister. Extra hard. Todays one of those days where I've watched videos of you, over && over, just to remember being in that moment and the moments that followed. Time is a theif, that's for sure. 

Because as I go on day by day sister, I find myself losing memories of us. Because the fear && knowing that we can never make new ones, haunts me. 

I love you sister. I always will.