Late night cry fest 💔

I will never fully understand why they decided to leave. && yet, deep down, I know exactly why.. **Life**… life can be just too much. Too loud. Too heavy. Too relentless. && sometimes, the sad, bitter truth is that it feels so much easier to just quit.

I feel the weight of it in my chest, in my bones, in every thought that refuses to stop. I feel the ache of love && loss, of longing && regret, of guilt && grief.. all tangled together like an impossible knot.

I think of the ones I miss.. my sister, my dad.. && I see their arms, their presence, their quiet understanding. They would let me cry. They would hold me when everything is too much. They would not ask me to fix myself. They would just be with me. && I ache for that now, because the world feels unbearably loud, && I am so tired.

&& yet… I am still here. Even in this sorrow, even in this grief, I am still breathing. I am still trying. Even when it feels impossible, even when I feel like failing everyone I love, I am still here.

Maybe that is all I can do right now: just be here. Just breathe. Just exist. Just let the tears fall. Let the sadness speak. Let the weight sit beside me, instead of crushing me.

Because even when it’s too much, even when it feels like giving up is easier, I can still remember the love that held me once. I can still remember that presence. I can still remember that it’s okay to need help, it’s okay to be broken, it’s okay to cry.

&& maybe.. just maybe.. that is enough for now.