Dear padre, dear Taylor;

This father's day was hard without you padre. I tried to ignore it && honestly, I had blocked out that it was father's day so bad, that I realized I hadn't been telling any of the uncles or my grandpa it. I miss you, so so much more than words can put it. Honestly I need you and I hate to admit it but it's so much more than I thought I would had. There's so many things I just want to sit down and ask you why, alas I can not. && I know that's why mother's drinking the way she is. She's hurting, && that's the only way she knows fo numb it.
&& Then there is I, who's had so many life realizations, along with the culture shock, && sensory overload on top of me just being the awkward fuck that I am.... It's just been a lot, but I've also seen a lot that I've just felt so disconnected from. 
Life happens and it happens fast.. some adjust better than others while others never do && I'm caught in between. I'm so fucking grateful, but damn am I sad. What id do padre to hear you laughing in this garage again. *Self realization* ((maybe it's not just all the issues stated above, it's the memories hitting me like a fucking train?))
You really were our hero.. are our hero, Tay and mine.... Jesus fuck I need you. I hope Taylors taking care of you, and you of her. The older Jr gets, the more he looks like her and lu too. It's post father's day now, maybe time for me to hit the hay considering it's 2:30 TN time..... I miss you guys, so so much. Please give each other the biggest hug you can just for the boys && I, mother too of course. 
I love you padre. Forever && always to the moon && back, to infinity && beyond I promise. 
Taylor you bitch, I love you. You know that. 

🖤 
Sofi. 

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