Another one for the books

May 30, 2022. It's another day that has me all kinds of fucked up sister. Why you ask? 
For all the people reading, I physically saw my sister, sitting on my couch. && She was absolutely beautiful, but she had this look of disappointment on her face, or it could had just been resting bitch face, I'm not sure. 
Her hair was straight, her makeup was done, I'm not sure what she was wearing because it all happened so fast. I'd never been so grateful, surprised, or anything since you've been gone sister. 
Was it a sign? Because the last time I saw you, was June 1st, 2021. I had been going insane because I didn't want June to come, && yet as soon as the month hit, you let me know you were there. I miss you. 
It was mentioned a few weeks ago by someone you used to know, a lovely ex of your wifes, that you weren't that great of a person, && that she should just stop talking about you because it wasn't doing anything but making herself worse. 
I couldn't help but get pissed when he said you weren't a good person. Because I knew you, you had your flaws you were human, but fuck we're you an amazing person. That part he got 300% wrong. Sometimes your bipolar and multiple personalities got in the way, && sometimes you treated people in ways they shouldn't had, whether it be you going based off of rumors, or personal experience but in all honesty what damn person in this county is flawless? Who the hell lives in Hickman, who is perfect? 
Not. A. Damn. Soul. Here. && I wish they could all just accept that. 
There is one person who used to live in this county tho sister, that I pray I don't ever see in public && of course I won't name him, because he knows who he is. Even mother's said the same thing. So fingers crossed. 

She's so broken without you sister. We miss you so much. && Without padre here, it's just ten times worse. I think with padre, we got the closure we needed. We made sure he wasn't alone, we made sure he was home, && surrounded by three people who truly truly loved him. We didn't get that with you. Which makes all of everything, so much harder. 
Your birthday is in three days. THREE. You'd be 25 if you were still here. 

I miss you sister. 
theres really nothing left to say for now, I woke up with toothpain && now that my ibuprofen has kicked in kinda, I'll try to sleep now. 
Come see me on my dreams soon sister. I want to hug you. 
dont worry sister, I'm watching veah for you. She misses you so much. 

I love you. Forever && always. To the moon && back. To infinity && beyond. I promise. 

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

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